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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480901">Recovery Takes:</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Essence_of_Silence/pseuds/Essence_of_Silence'>Essence_of_Silence</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arcanine and Umbreon act like service dogs, Cannon divergence - characters actually age, Explores the gym leader!Gary trope, Explores what happens to the Viridian City Gym, Gary deals with PTSD from Mewtwo, Gary has a Ninetales, Gary's Alakazam makes an appearance, Gary's Houndoom makes an appearance, Gen, Growing Up, Healing, Misty and Tracey make an appearance, No angst after chapter 2, Panic Attacks, Post Battle of the Badge, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, The story behind Eevee's evolution</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:21:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,150</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Essence_of_Silence/pseuds/Essence_of_Silence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Recovery takes:<br/>Days. Weeks. Months. Years. Decades.</p><p>Gary isn't the same after his encounter with Mewtwo in the Viridian Gym, fortunately his Pokemon and grandfather help him recover. It takes time, but it's all worth it in the end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've always wanted to see a fic take on what Gary goes through after his encounter with Mewtwo in The Battle of the Badge but have never come across one. I imagine that type of encounter left a mark mentally (especially considering his young age at the time) and I always thought that it was no coincidence that Gary's eevee evolves into Umbreon. His change in behavior is always attributed to his loss at the Indigo Plateau, but I always imagined there was more to it than that. </p><p>This is partially meant to be an exploration into what Gary goes through in getting past his encounter with Mewtwo, as well as how he gets (and evolves) Eevee, how he changes as a person between his Kanto and Johto journeys, and how he goes through the change from trainer to researcher. It was also written as I was researching and working on my own PTSD. </p><p>There's a fair amount of experimentation with pacing, tense, details, etc, so feel free to give feed back. There will be five chapters, each getting progressively longer and dealing with a different distance from the events at the Viridian City Gym.  I am posting this with the first two chapters and updating with the final few over the next week or so.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Recovery Takes:</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Days</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pokemon from the Viridian City Gym never quite leaves Gary’s mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He returns to Pallet Town afterwards and tries to move on as usual, continuing training in the fields surrounding Pallet. At first, he manages pushing the encounter out of his mind while awake. But as soon as night comes, he can see the glowing eyes and gleaming armor. The nightmares are relentless but he endures them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's not </span>
  <em>
    <span>weak</span>
  </em>
  <span>, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This only lasts a few days, however. In the end, it's the panic attacks that break him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still remembers his first panic attack, each detail painfully vivid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sudden onslaught of fear and memories, being so lost in them until he forgets how to breathe. His heart pounds harder, faster, until he feels dizzy and queasy. His grandfather’s nearby voice suddenly seems so far away and so very difficult to focus on, to understand. The professor’s gentle hand on his shoulder startles him far more than it should, his entire body jolting with sudden inexplicable fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s only eleven, and smart as he is for his age, he has no idea what is happening to him and that only further feeds the terror welling up inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately, his grandfather seems to possess some understanding that he does not. As confusion swallows him up, his harsh breaths begin to come out as sobs and the tears begin to fall. It’s all entirely beyond his control and he crumples against his grandfather’s chest as warm arms wrap around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man’s words are lost in the fog surrounding Gary’s mind but the firm embrace is enough to slowly break through and bring him back to the present. Finally, the images of a pokemon in metal armor and his own prized pokemon flung aside begin to disperse and he can make out his grandfather’s words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, you’re safe… You’re safe, just breathe…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact that his grandfather somehow knows exactly what to say and do in this foreign situation brings about a rising tide of gratitude within him. His mind is still a raging storm of battling emotions, but the gentle words, the feeling of warm fingers threading through his hair, of strong arms keeping him safe eventually win out over the utter panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s then that he becomes aware of his pokemon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arcanine is at his back, the large dog pressing his side against Gary, all but wrapping around the boy and his grandfather. The warmth radiating from him has a few beads of sweat sliding down Gary’s back but he can hardly bring himself to care as he lowers a hand to Arcanine’s thick mane of fur. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ninetales sits nearby, directly in Gary’s line of vision. She begins to flick her many tails slowly through the air as she notices his gaze land on her. It’s hypnotic, calming, and Gary’s  breathing returns to normal as he watches the long tufts of cream fur wave through the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kadabra, meanwhile, looks almost as lost as Gary feels. The psychic pokemon hadn’t been in the Viridian Gym; he doesn’t fully understand why the attack his trainer had ordered in their mock battle against Nidoking has had this effect on him. His powers certainly allow him to sense Gary’s emotions and even, to an extent, read the boy’s mind. This, coupled with his intelligence, might allow him to work out what has happened - and why - but that doesn’t negate the knowledge that his attack was what triggered this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary feels his stomach sink when he sees the psychic pokemon - one of the most powerful and most prized in his collection. He knows as well as his pokemon that it was the sight of the Psychic attack on Nidoking that brought this on. Now a new fear consumes him: will he be able to battle with, or against, psychic pokemon again?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Already overwhelmed as he is, the thought of his training career being already irreparably damaged brings him right back to tears. The thought of anything related to psychic pokemon brings the image of Arcanine’s helpless forms back to mind, and the fire dog's fur suddenly feels far too hot to touch. His hand jerks away from the very pokemon who has been his favorite ever since he was a young child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shame wells up within him and he buries his face against his grandfather once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels helpless, hopeless, and nothing at all like the accomplished, confident trainer he’s known himself to be for the last year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His grandfather, again, seems to understand that something is terribly wrong and seems to know what to do. The professor’s embrace tightens once more as he feels the trembles resurface in Gary’s body and the soft words of comfort return until the tears have passed again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Gary is calm, Sam Oak wastes no time in placing his hands on his grandson’s shoulders, brushing some stray hair from his face. Still sniffling a bit, Gary doesn’t look at him, nor his pokemon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go inside,” he intones softly and he gently steers Gary towards the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They avoid the lab and the other pokemon, though Gary barely notices. Exhaustion weighs heavily on him and walking feels as though he’s trudging through knee-deep mud. He finds himself slouched on the couch a few minutes later but has little memory of how exactly he got there. He can hear his grandfather puttering about in the kitchen, fixing tea and giving Gary a few precious moments alone to compose himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation that follows is long, arduous, and full of more tears than Gary would ever care to admit. His grandfather has already heard of the events at the Viridian City gym from the girls but has heard only a few selective details from Gary. It takes hours, but he manages to gently pry the entire story from the boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As a gifted researcher, his grandfather is blessed with intuitive logic and keen observation skills. He’s able to help Gary make some sort of sense of what happened in the Viridian Gym, as well as what is happening to him now with the nightmares and the panic attack. Just having a name for the overwhelming fear and emotion that took him over so suddenly helps. Knowing that this is a thing that happens to people sometimes - especially after experiencing something so terrifying - takes some of the fear and confusion away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Importantly, the professor promises not to tell anyone about what he is struggling with and, more importantly, he promises to help Gary as much as he possibly can.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Weeks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Recovery Takes: </strong>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Weeks</strong>
  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The following weeks speed past in a blur of training with his pokemon and working with his grandfather. The Indigo League isn’t going to postpone the competition for him and Gary can’t bear the thought of skipping it. He’s trained too long and hard for that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He avoids working with Kadabra and Hypno, and even Exeggutor, just in case the psychic abilities set him off. His battle abilities are still as sharp as ever, but the panic attacks and nightmares have more than rattled his confidence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Working with his grandfather, Arcanine, and Ninetales has helped. The two canids help to calm him during the panic attacks: Arcanine acting as a protector and a tactile distraction by providing a gentle warmth and reassuring pressure at his back, and Ninetales acting as a calming visual distraction by slowly flicking her many tails through the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It helps... but only so much, and only during the panic attacks themselves. It doesn’t lessen the frequency of them, but he’s started to recognize the signs that one is looming on the very near horizon. The knowledge that he can now somewhat predict them takes a bit of the scary uncertainty away and he can guide himself through them better than before - all thanks to his grandfather’s incredible patience and the help of his pokemon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, they’re so frequent that he feels absolutely exhausted and drained at the end of every day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nightmares don’t help. He has yet to wake up screaming, but he still bolts awake each night, sometimes several times. Every night finds him dreading climbing into bed, and nearly every night finds him in tears, his face buried in his pillow as he desperately tries to make the memories go away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> been improvement - Gary reminds himself of this constantly. Small improvement is still improvement. But there’s only so far one can come over the course of two months. Try as he might to put on a brave face, Gary feels like he’s barely treading water. He’s no longer drowning under the weight of it all, but he’s still struggling far more than he’d like to admit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the Indigo League comes around and he reaches the plateau, he finds himself slipping easily into his over-confident trainer self. Perhaps it’s a matter of being somewhere other than Pallet, or perhaps it’s the distraction provided by researching his opponents’ teams and picking his own, but he feels like himself - for a few days, at least.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He handles the first round with ease, the second and third just as well. The panic attacks fade from his mind and he feels his confidence surge as he steps onto the battlefield each day. It’s a welcome change.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fourth round is where it goes downhill and he’s reminded of just what it is that he’s facing. Melissa is a difficult opponent to prepare for - she’s a gifted battler with strong pokemon - and Gary doesn’t think twice about putting Nidoking on his team to face her. He holds his own against her, but feels his stomach drop when she calls out Golem as her final pokemon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memory of the Viridian Gym flashes in his mind and his breath catches in his throat. That familiar shaky, queasy feeling rises within him and he freezes, briefly, but it’s just long enough for Melissa to get an edge in an otherwise close match. Nidoking struggles under the power of Golem’s attacks and Gary fights to get his mind back on the battle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it’s too late… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The distraction is enough to cost him the match. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It all comes crashing back into him. Fortunately he has Arcanine’s pokeball at his waist and is able to spend a few minutes with his fingers buried in the fire dog’s fur, taking the time to calm down before venturing outside the stadium to where the girls are waiting with the car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He musters up a brave face and an arrogant facade when Ash stops him but can tell his rival is far from convinced. Gary sincerely doubts Ash understands the depth of how upset he actually is, or the multiple reasons behind it, but he tiredly pushes it out of his mind. He has other concerns to contend with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His grandfather finds him staring moodily over the forests surrounding the Plateau from the balcony of his hotel room later that afternoon. It’s impossible to hide the fact that he’s upset from the older man and so he doesn’t even bother to try. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary grudgingly accepts the hands that gently land on his shoulders and stubbornly blinks back tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I ever going to be able to battle again?” He blurts, unable to hold back the worry that’s been on his mind ever since that morning’s battle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You just had three amazing battles, Gary,” the professor reassures him. “Today was a battle against someone who’s been training much longer than you… Why, I remember giving Melissa her bulbasaur, it must have been six, seven years ago now. And you held your own against her for most of that battle! That’s quite impressive.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But Nidoking… I got so - so distracted. I -” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You started to have a panic attack, didn’t you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary lowers his head in shame, unable to continue blinking back the tears that sting at his eyes. The professor’s hand settles on his shoulder, warm and reassuring, but the tears still come. He attempts to stifle a sob, but it bubbles up anyway and he buries his face in his hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s never felt so unsure of himself, so utterly lost. It eats away at him, constantly putting him at war with himself and he feels himself losing the mental battle more and more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wishes he could go back and push aside his ego enough to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>"I don't need another badge." </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he knows wishing for a different past is futile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It won't stop the panic attacks. It won't stop the nightmares. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It won't make him heal any faster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I can't do this," he manages to choke out between sobs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, his grandfather won't hear any of this. "I know it's hard," the older man murmurs, pulling him into a hug. It feels like this is fast becoming a daily ritual. "It just takes time, and I'll be here as long as it takes. You'll be okay, I promise."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's not that…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No? Are you still having nightmares?" Gary nods miserably and the professor utters a sigh. "How often?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary hesitates. "Every night," he finally admits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Gary…" His grandfather pulls him close again. "I can't help you if I don't know these things."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They return to Pallet Town the next morning and Gary spends the next several days moping around, reeling from his most recent loss and still struggling. He can hardly sleep for the nightmares, can barely control his panic attacks for the lack of sleep, and can’t find the will to do much of anything. His grandfather goes about his normal business in the lab with trainers and other researchers coming and going. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary pays no attention until one afternoon when his grandfather ushers him from his sprawled position on the couch and into the lab. He is tired and cranky, and not at all in the mood to be in the lab - until something catches his attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On one of the lab counters is a brown and cream-colored egg, which his grandfather is entirely too excited to show him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you guess what it is?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes all of Gary’s effort not to roll his eyes. “No,” he replies flatly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The old man won’t hear it. “Oh, come now, Gary! Surely you can make a guess!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary sighs and shrugs listlessly. He probably could guess it… but he doesn’t have the mental energy for this. “I don’t know, Gramps.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He's curious but, miserable as he is, he's not in the mood for guessing games.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, the professor relents and gives in. "It's an eevee egg."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This breaks through the mental fog and Gary approaches the egg for a closer look. “An eevee?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His grandfather gives him a moment to indulge his curiosity. “I was thinking… The little one will need a trainer when it hatches. I would only trust an eevee with a good trainer and you certainly fit that bill.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary hesitates but only for a minute. “You want to give it to me?” His grandfather smiles gently and nods. “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I? You’re a good trainer and you’ve always wanted one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fact that his grandfather knows how very much he is struggling but still trusts him with such a special and rare pokemon means the world to him. His confidence may be lower than it has ever been, but his grandfather’s confidence in his abilities gives him a much needed boost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the little fox pokemon hatches a mere week later, she is immediately enamored with Gary, and he with her. They are inseparable from the very beginning but Gary doesn’t realize at the time just how much her presence in his life will impact him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Months</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Recovery Takes:</strong>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Months</strong>
  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In the months after the Indigo League, Gary is determined to get back to training. The addition of Eevee is exactly the boost he needs. It takes time for her to grow enough to actually begin training her, but that gives him time that he desperately needs to begin feeling more like himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Eevee grows, he continues to work with Arcanine and Ninetales and they continue to help him manage the panic attacks. He finally reaches the point where he only needs the help of one of his prized fire canids to get through a panic attack, rather than both of them. And now that he has Eevee, he has a pokemon that can easily stay in his bedroom with him at night. It doesn’t solve anything, but her presence at least calms him when it comes time for bed and helps him fall back asleep after the nightmares. The improved sleep quality leaves him far less cranky and tired, but also makes it much easier to handle the panic attacks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not a night-and-day difference, and Gary still has a long way to go in getting back to himself, but he feels better than he has the entire time since the Viridian City Gym. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When it comes time to begin training the fluffy little fox pokemon, Gary finds himself spending more and more time outside with his pokemon. He is often outside shortly after the sunrise to help his grandfather feed some of the pokemon and to socialize Eevee with as many different pokemon as possible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She is curious, bold, and playful - a combination that keeps Gary on his toes and requires him to pay careful attention to their surroundings and the pokemon they are around. It’s something that he’s never had to pay too much attention to and he begins to realize just how sheltered his training experience has been. He’s traveled far and done a lot with his pokemon, but with the car and the cheerleaders and the hotels… he really has never had to worry much about taking care of himself and his pokemon out in the wild. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a large part of training to have missed out on and that realization comes as yet another harsh blow to Gary. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rather than moping around for days on end, as he did after his loss at the Indigo League, Gary strengthens his resolve to become a better trainer. He begins venturing further into the wilds around Pallet during the day with his pokemon. Arcanine is constantly with him, along with Eevee and a rotating team that is absent of psychic types. As much as Gary wants to work with Kadabra and the others, he isn’t there yet and worries that he may never get there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcanine and the other pokemon enjoy their trips into the hills, fields, and forests beyond Pallet Town - but none so much as Eevee. Gary’s energetic little ball of fluff delights in scampering about these new places and facing her first opponents as a battling pokemon. She is one of the most enthusiastic pokemon Gary has ever worked with and her happy trills after each battle become a reward all their own for her trainer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She begins to level swiftly and moves on from the weak rattata and caterpie to the stronger pidgey and spearow in a matter of only a few very short weeks. Gary’s confidence quickly begins to grow once more. He no longer worries that he may never battle again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His grandfather is hesitant to let him, but Gary slowly begins to venture further and further from home, returning later and later in the evening. He finds that exploring with just his pokemon is resulting in a stronger bond with his team. Perhaps even more importantly, he finds his love for training returning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He starts to plan and prepare for the Johto League - this one, he tells his grandfather, he’s going to do properly. No car, no cheerleaders, no hotels. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All things considered, it’s not surprising that the professor seems reluctant about this. The nightmares are still there, after all, even if they are finally starting to become less frequent. But at least the panic attacks have improved, he reassures the older man. And they have - </span>
  <em>
    <span>immensely</span>
  </em>
  <span> - thanks to Arcanine, Ninetales, and Eevee’s help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eevee is constantly at his side, or on his shoulder, or in his lap. She seems to have a natural talent for sensing when Gary’s attention is drifting to troublesome thoughts. In a way, she trains herself to divert his attention when he dwells on unpleasant things. She nudges him with her nose when he grows quiet and tense - and is rewarded with a scratch behind the ears or pat on the head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s typically a sufficient distraction but when it’s not, a whine for attention, a nip on the wrist, or a tug on the shirt is usually enough to pull him away from dark thoughts. It starts small, but soon makes a substantial difference. The dark moments that spiral into panic attacks lessen and he begins to feel a sense of normality returning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Things are starting to look up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In spite of all of this, Gary’s still a bit unsure. Everything is set for him to go to Johto, his bag sits near his bedroom door, mostly packed and ready to go. He even has his team picked out - Blastoise, Nidoqueen, Arcanine, and Eevee. Enough space for two new pokemon right off the bat, and he knows he’ll change it up as usual. Arcanine, he knows, will switch out with Ninetales from time to time, but Eevee will remain a constant. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he hesitates. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s his victorious battle with Ash that gives him the final push to venture beyond Route 22 and into Johto.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ultimately, it’s Johto that brings him the most growth and healing. Being outside in nature, on his own, able to wander as he pleases, simply following his whims, does more for him than anything in Pallet has so far. Exploring the unfamiliar region provides an easy distraction as he meanders the forests, keeping an eye out for new pokemon, watching for danger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He notices early on just how alert he is to every small sound, but Eevee, loathe to stay in her pokeball, is quick to remind him to breathe and even quicker to alert him to actual danger. With her constant presence, the distractions she purposely provides him with when his thoughts turn, he finds the panic attacks dwindling and the intense vigilance of his surroundings dies back swiftly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nightmares still occur with unsettling regularity and their presence still leaves Gary feeling wary when it’s time to wind down for the night. He had already started procrastinating heading to bed back in Pallet Town - much to his grandfather’s chagrin - and so he continues this into Johto. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As a result, he quickly finds himself developing nocturnal habits. He explores far beyond nightfall, led by Hoothoot (soon enough Noctowl), accompanied by Eevee, guided by the gentle light of the moon and stars. Some nights he sets up camp under the deep black cloak of midnight, other nights he continues wandering until the black gives way to the milky grey of pre-dawn. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>These wanderings should leave him exhausted, he knows, but they don’t. Instead, he feels oddly refreshed. These hours are quiet and peaceful, and standing beneath the stars, slowly breathing in the cool night air brings him that same peace. Any time the memories start to come to mind, he closes his eyes and focuses on the soft sounds of the forest. It’s not until several years later that he realizes this is where his mediation practice found its roots.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nightmares begin to fade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, three months into his Johto journey, something utterly life-changing happens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s past midnight on a clear summer night, and Gary is admiring the gentle twinkle of the stars so far above them when he hears the sonar screeching of the bat pokemon. This is nothing he and Eevee haven’t dealt with before and she immediately takes her fighting stance. They’ve dealt with bats enough that she hardly needs to hear the command of her trainer for her to Reflect away the Supersonic and Bite attacks and retaliate with her own Headbutt and Quick Attacks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bats disperse in a flurry of flapping wings as quickly as they came. Gary watches them flutter back into the shadows with a faint smile. They can be annoying sometimes, but he rather likes the screechy poison types… Lately he has been finding himself appreciating all of the nocturnal pokemon more than he ever did before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good job, Eevee,” he praises her quietly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She replies with her usual cheerful yip and he looks down to give her a smile and a pat - but freezes when he sees her becoming engulfed in an unearthly glow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows what’s happening of course, but his brain refuses to comprehend as she grows taller and the thick fluff of her collar recedes into sleek fur. The glow fades and left in Eevee’s place is a jet pokemon with crimson eyes and golden rings that gleam in the moonlight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary can’t help but laugh when the shock wears off and his brain finally registers the evolution. The nocturnal pokemon standing in Eevee’s place gives another cheerful cry before bounding around her trainer in excited circles until Gary kneels down and holds his hands out to her. She all but tackles him in her enthusiasm and he laughs all the harder as he muses her fur and scratches her behind her long black ears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d be lying if he said he’d never considered her evolution before… and he'd be lying even more if he said he hadn’t secretly hoped in the back of his mind that this would happen.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The excitement quiets a bit and Gary, mesmerized by the pokemon before him, slides his fingers along her sleek coat and simply admires her for a long moment. He rests his forehead against hers and closes his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Umbreon,” he breathes, still in some disbelief. She moves her head just long enough to lick his cheek before returning her forehead to his. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the coming months Gary finds that Umbreon’s evolution makes a monumental change in his training career. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She is his first dark type and her immunity to psychic attacks ignites a curiosity strong enough to overcome the paralysing fear of psychic types that Gary has dealt with ever since Viridian City. He finds himself asking his grandfather for Kadabra less than a week later. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes two days to work up the courage to have a mock battle between the psychic type and Umbreon and he makes sure to have both Arcanine and Ninetales at his side for what he is certain will be a terrible panic attack.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Umbreon eyes Kadabra from across the makeshift battlefield eagerly. She’s looking forward to a new opponent - that’s how she’s always been: so eager to learn. Gary feels his stomach tighten uncomfortably, his heart rate quicken - Arcanine leans against him and his fingers brush through the fire dog’s fur without thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary takes a deep breath and gives the command. Kadabra’s eyes turn red, a multicolored beam of energy erupts from him and shoots directly at Umbreon. She and Gary both brace for a hit that never lands. The Psybeam passes straight through her without so much as ruffling a single piece of fur. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some of the tension drains from Gary. He takes another breath and gives another command. Kadabra’s eyes glow again and a pale blue glow appears around Umbreon. But nothing happens and the Psychic attack fails. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The panic attack never happens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Umbreon truly is immune to psychic attacks and Gary marvels at just what this entails. It’s an amazing ability for a pokemon to have… But, for Gary, it opens up a door that he had been worried was permanently closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can work with his psychic types again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kadabra joins his rotation once more and, before long, Gary doesn’t even need to make sure that either Arcanine or Ninetales are on hand just in case. When he battles a trainer with an Alakazam outside of Ecruteak City, he doesn't bat an eye, his heart doesn't begin to pound, he doesn't feel suddenly ill. No panic comes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Battling someone else's psychic type pokemon no longer brings him to the edge of his sanity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His own Alakazam evolves not long after - a true surprise considering Gary never trades him. His grandfather speculates that it could have something to do with the bond Gary has developed with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another curiosity is piqued within him at this, one that has already been sparked by Umbreon’s evolution… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It starts slowly - vocalizing a curiosity to his grandfather, having conversations with other trainers and gym leaders, spending the odd rainy day in a library pouring over books - but his curiosity is never quite sated. Every answer leaves him with a list of new questions and he is soon enough spending as much time studying as he is training.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time the Silver Conference comes around, he knows where his future lies. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Much to the surprise of his younger self, it’s not in training.</span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Recovery Takes:</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Years</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Research, it turns out, is far more than being holed up in a lab somewhere and, for that, Gary is grateful. The transition from trainer to researcher isn’t without its challenges, but it ultimately leaves Gary feeling fulfilled. He never truly stops training, but continues more as a hobby to keep himself and his pokemon connected and in shape. When there’s time, he challenges local gym leaders but it’s not the same as before. </p><p>In fact, nothing has been the same ever since he challenged the Viridian City gym leader. If it hadn’t been for that pokemon, he would have never had panic attacks and nightmares, he would have never bonded with his eevee the way he had, he would have never ended up exploring forests every night with his pokemon by his side. Umbreon would have never evolved as she had and Gary’s curiosity would have never been piqued the way it was.</p><p>The experience with that pokemon destroys a part of him, but it ultimately becomes an integral part of who he is - it takes years to reach this level of understanding. The panic attacks have been essentially nonexistent since his days in Johto and the nightmares are a rare occurrence that pop up from time to time. When either of them happen, he knows how to deal with them and move on relatively quickly and easily.</p><p>Working with Aerodactyl proves almost revolutionary for him. Experiencing the resurrected pokemon’s early fear brings about a brief resurgence of the nightmares and he surprises himself by confiding in Jared the reason why he is so very tired several days in a row. </p><p>The conversation ends up being a powerful one. </p><p>“Do you think maybe the pokemon was scared?” the other researcher asks.</p><p>This gives Gary pause. It’s not that he’s never considered this - it’s that he’s never attempted to decipher what was happening with the mystery pokemon in the first place. Ever.</p><p>For so long the mere mental image of the pokemon would trigger a downward spiral into a panic attack. It occurs to him, vaguely, that he is having no symptoms of an impending panic attack now. For how far into the conversation they are, it’s an incredible difference from just a few years prior.</p><p>He draws a deep breath and forces himself to think back to the Viridian Gym. The image of the pokemon standing tall, its eyes glowing from the shadows, immediately comes to the front of his mind. He can still feel the psychic energy rippling around him, slamming into him, filling his mind with too many images and horrifying scenes to make sense of. </p><p>His heart rate picks up and he feels Umbreon nudge his arm with her nose. He takes another deep breath and closes his eyes, letting his fingers trail over Umbreon’s sleek fur as he allows himself to focus on the memory for the first time. He tries to pick out the way the pokemon <em> feels </em> in the memory… </p><p>There’s a definite similarity to what he felt from Aerodactyl, but it’s not the same. It’s not even close.</p><p>“It hated people,” he murmurs after a moment. His eyes open and he looks down at the dark type next to him as he tries to return to the present. “I don’t think it was <em> scared </em> like Aerodactyl was, but… I don’t know. I feel like there’s something close to fear but not really?" He can't think of how to put it into words and he gives a helpless shrug.</p><p>Umbreon’s nose nudges him once again, harder, and Gary tries to shake off the lingering memory.  He’s starting to feel a bit queasy and knows he’ll regret it if he pushes himself too far. The panic attacks always left him feeling exhausted and incapable of anything more than sleep - that’s the last thing he wants when he has a living, breathing aerodactyl to work with.</p><p>Jared seems to notice this and gives him a few minutes before he speaks up again. “There’s <em> rumors </em>,” he says quietly, hesitantly. “About the gym leader in Viridian being part of Team Rocket… and about a pokemon. A really powerful psychic type, cloned from Mew.”</p><p>That detail catches Gary’s attention. “From <em> Mew </em>?” He’s tempted to scoff at the idea, but he works with a live aerodactyl every day. Strange things can happen. And Jared’s not the gullible sort who believes any bit of information he comes across. </p><p>Jared gives a lopsided smile and nods, though his gaze is serious. He likely senses Gary’s skepticism. “They say there were all sorts of terrible experiments done on it and it turned <em> savage </em>. Destroyed the lab, killed everyone in it, and then disappeared. Some people think Team Rocket captured it afterwards.”</p><p>It sounds far fetched, crazy even. But something there connects. That pokemon <em> was </em> incredibly powerful and it wasn’t one Gary had ever seen before. Even after spending hours upon hours scanning books on pokemon from the other regions, he still can’t find anything that even comes close. These rumors… they sound plausible.</p><p>Still, he has to ask… “How do you know all of this?”</p><p>“You like learning about evolution, I like learning about legendaries and rare pokemon," Jared explains with a shrug. "I heard about that pokemon when I went to Cinnabar a few years back. I saw the lab not too long after it was destroyed - made what Aero did in ours look like nothing… Why? Do you think it could be the same pokemon?"</p><p>Gary hesitates. It's just a rumor, but rumors frequently have <em> some </em> basis in truth. Sometimes they're entirely accurate… Sometimes they're just wrong. "I don't know." He's lost count of how many times he's said those three words in this conversation. "I've never been able to figure out what that pokemon was. And I've looked! But it was stronger than anything I've ever seen and was definitely a psychic type."</p><p>"If I know anything about you, it's that you're thorough… but if it is the same pokemon, maybe that's why it feels similar to Aerodactyl. Maybe it's the same sort of base fear around humans and labs."</p><p>Gary thinks on it and finds himself nodding. It makes sense, but it gives rise to another concern.</p><p>"What if Aero turns into that?" </p><p>His older coworker falls silent for a moment. “How many pokemon have you met that attack humans for no reason?” </p><p>“None.” Gary doesn’t need to think about it. “Even unprovoked attacks have a reason behind them.”</p><p>Jared nods. “Yeah. So… What was the reason behind this pokemon attacking <em> you</em>?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Umbreon nudges his arm again. She knows this conversation is headed down a dangerous route, but Gary is more okay with it than he would have expected of himself.</p><p>“Sure you do. You’ve always got some sort of idea floating around your head.”</p><p>“Not about this. This is the most I’ve ever thought about it, Jared.”</p><p>“So think about it now. You’re in a safe place, we’ve got all the time in the world.” </p><p>Gary’s not exactly eager to return to the memory and try to dissect it even further, but… Maybe exploring it and talking about it will help him make more sense of it and make the nightmares go away for good. </p><p>He gives in.</p><p>It’s not hard to bring the memories back up, especially when they’ve been stirred up by nightmares and are already fresh in his mind. But digging even deeper into the memory than he already has, seeking an underlying reason that he likely doesn't want to know is difficult. </p><p>It takes time to get there, but Jared is kind and patient. There’s a lot of back and forth, both in Gary’s mind and between him and Jared. There is a reason in his mind, but Gary can’t accept it… there has to be another reason. There <em> has </em>to be.</p><p>Eventually, he sees no other option. Nothing else could logically be the reason behind a pokemon attacking a trainer as that one did.</p><p>A sinking feeling fills Gary. “It was trained to attack,” he realizes. “It was commanded to attack people… It was forced to.” </p><p>He very suddenly feels ill and dizzy. Umbreon doesn’t bother nudging him with her nose this time - she stands directly in front of him and slams her paw down on his foot with a loud bark. Before he knows what’s happened, she’s all but crawled into his lap in order to push a paw against one of the pokeballs at his waist. </p><p>The flash of light and loud mechanical sound of the ball opening nearly startles him enough to bring the panic attack to actuality. Arcanine, however, has been in this situation before and takes mere seconds to respond. The fire dog lunges up at Gary, dragging his tongue along the teenager’s cheek, slobbering all over him. </p><p>It’s always an effective distraction and Gary’s mind is instantly off of the still-mysterious pokemon from Viridian and onto the enormous canid jumping all over him. He simultaneously laughs and groans, pushing at Arcanine’s considerable weight. </p><p>Jared laughs as well - though he’s never seen this particular combined effort between the two pokemon, he’s familiar with Arcanine’s loveable attention hog ways. He waits until Arcanine and Umbreon - and Gary - have settled back down before returning to the topic at hand. “So, when it comes to Aero… I guess the better question is, are you willing to treat him in a way that makes him attack people for no reason?”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>He laughs a bit more at the force behind Gary’s response. “I don’t think we need to worry about him then," he reassures the teenage researcher.</p><p>Coming to understand just a little bit more about the terrifying creature back in Viridian seems to help. The nightmares dwindle back down to the rare occasion, usually when he’s dealing with other stressors or when something reminds him of the original encounter that caused them in the first place. In the end, this little bit of understanding brings an invaluable insight into the way pokemon behave. </p><p>The conversation stays at the back of Gary’s mind for weeks and shapes the way he interacts with Aerodactyl. He is constantly conscious of the fossil pokemon’s comfort levels and works hard to slowly introduce anything that could scare him. In a way, he feels he can relate to Aerodactyl more than any of the others at Sayda Lab. They both have fears to overcome, but Gary, at fourteen, has been working on his for three years now. He’s developed a sense of how to work around fears and how to calm them when they become overwhelming. He’s far from an expert, but it’s hard-earned knowledge that doesn’t come naturally to most people and he uses it to his advantage.</p><p>Jared may be the only other person at Sayda to know the reason behind all of this, but everyone is quick to notice the connection between Gary and Aero. Dora is particularly impressed and Crystal begs Gary to fill her in on his secret method. Visiting researchers are always impressed and never fail to comment on it. His prowess with the living, breathing fossil receives far more praise than his work to get the pokemon to be more than just a test tube of DNA. </p><p>It is ultimately this connection with Aerodactyl that catches the attention of Professor Rowan when he visits Sayda with a group of other researchers. Several of the researchers attempt to recruit him for their own projects but, as much as he plans to keep his options open, Gary likes Sayda. Working with Aero is rewarding and Dora is a great mentor and friend. Plus Jared is teaching him to surf and he’s helping Crystal with training - they’re a little family of sorts and he won’t just give up what he has for any project offered to him. </p><p>It’ll take something special to pull him away from Sayda.</p><p>Rowan’s offer comes several months later. It’s not a permanent position, the elder researcher is sure to emphasize - Gary can return to Sayda in just a few months' time - but they need someone gifted with pokemon who can watch over the shieldon herd resurrected similarly to Sayda’s aerodactyl. Someone who can travel with the pokemon and protect them with their own pokemon should the need arise. </p><p>Gary is wary at first: coming to the realization that the pokemon he encountered in Viridian was born of terrible lab experiments and turned into a monster by human hands leaves him hesitant to work with other pokemon brought about by humankind. Hearing that Sinnoh has its own crime syndicate… Well, his handful of encounters with Team Rocket has left an unpleasant impact and he’s not eager to encounter another team like them. </p><p>But, it’s only for six months and Professor Rowan specializes in evolutionary sciences - the very subject that sparked Gary’s curiosity and pushed him into the field of research in the first place. He figures it’s a good opportunity to branch out a bit and explore a new region. </p><p>So he heads to Sinnoh shortly after his fifteenth birthday, with the plan of returning to Sayda afterwards. </p><p>Sinnoh is beautiful and Gary quickly develops a fondness for the region. Blastoise doesn’t enjoy it much, but Umbreon and Arcanine love it. He misses Sayda and is surprised by the homesickness he feels for the island, but it’s a nice change of pace. Being outside and exploring a new place brings him back to the times spent exploring Johto - he enjoys it even more than he did back then. </p><p>There are no panic attacks to worry about, no nightmares plaguing him, no hypervigilance over every forest sound keeping him tense and on edge.</p><p>And the little herd of shieldon that he is tasked with protecting is absolutely adorable. He is attached to them within minutes of meeting them. Each of the shield pokemon have their own personality and quirks and Gary spends the first few weeks there simply getting to know each of them. He takes pages upon pages of notes on behavior and habits as he studies the pokemon - all a part of his job, but a part he enjoys. In a way, it’s an excuse to sit back and relax and simply enjoy the pokemon. Taking notes is easy, after all - far easier than many of the other things he has dealt with over the years.</p><p>Though he’s no longer a trainer, Gary finds himself falling right back into many of his habits from his training days. Staying up well into the night with Umbreon and Noctowl, wandering beneath the light of the stars… He very quickly remembers just why he had enjoyed it so very much in the first place.</p><p>The pokemon from Viridian City is the very last thing on his mind… Until he’s reminded that crime syndicates exist in Sinnoh.</p><p>Team Galactic is far worse than Team Rocket, he learns firsthand. They are relentless and don't care who they hurt to get what they want.</p><p>The conversation with Jared about the cloned pokemon echoes in the back of his head… The shieldon are lab-created as well.</p><p>The nightmares return.</p><p>Except, it's not just the mysterious pokemon in armor. Now his dreams have Aero and the shieldon herd lashing out at their creators and caretakers. Galactic and Rocket merge in his mind as a terrifying force that threaten to take the pokemon that he cares so deeply for.</p><p>It’s partly the nightmares that drive him to looking up the rumors he heard from Jared nearly a year earlier. There is, predictably, little information beyond old news stories of the lab destruction and speculation about what happened. But it’s enough information to satiate some curiosity, and it’s enough to confirm that there was certainly science of the highly unethical variety occurring in that laboratory. </p><p>Then, on an absolute whim, he searches online for any stories of trainers encountering extremely powerful, unknown pokemon in the same time frame as the lab destruction or his own encounter. It takes a bit of digging, but soon enough finds a few stories - all out of Viridian City, all including a powerful psychic pokemon attacking a trainer, all shortly after the incident at the lab on Cinnabar, all shortly before his own experience. </p><p>His search is interrupted frequently by Umbreon’s insistent nudges, nips, and whines. She refuses to give up but his focus isn’t easily broken and there’s a part of him that, after all these years, <em> needs </em> answers - solid ones, not just rumors. The dark type eventually settles for sprawling across his lap and smacking him with her paw every few minutes to remind him to breathe. </p><p>He half expects a panic attack to overcome him at some point in all of this, but it doesn’t happen - perhaps due to Umbreon’s stubborn interference, perhaps just due to him being better at handling it these days.</p><p>He doesn’t sleep that night. Not because of nightmares, but because his mind is churning over so much information.</p><p>Regardless of how very much he has grown to love Aero and the little herd of shieldon, working with pokemon created - or resurrected - in a lab leaves a sick feeling deep inside. The knowledge that the psychic type that left him mentally scarred was entirely manmade won’t leave him. Gary can’t bear the thought of accidentally creating a pokemon like that: a pokemon so horribly abused that it inflicts pain on others, unprovoked. </p><p>He knows he would never do anything to make a pokemon under his care turn into that, he doesn’t necessarily need Jared’s earlier reassurance back on Sayda to be confident in this fact. </p><p>But he’s now seen firsthand just how readily people with bad intentions get involved in science. He has a very valuable skill set - one that bad people would gladly kill to have on their side. As good a trainer as he is, he knows he can’t overcome a team of people willing to play dirty and throw all morals out the window. </p><p>The chances of a pokemon he helps bring to life being stolen and abused by a team like Rocket or Galactic are far too high.</p><p>By the time he returns to Sayda, he has already made up his mind. He won’t be returning to the field of resurrection science. It’s a decision based entirely on a strong set of ethics he’s developed in working with his pokemon - Aerodactyl included - and overcoming the hardships left behind by the encounter with the genetic pokemon. </p><p>The nightmares still linger.</p><p>Dora and Jared notice that his passion in the lab has waned. His bond with Aero is still strong and he still loves working with him, but is far from enthused when it comes to working towards the revival of other pokemon. He’s quiet, tired, and just doesn’t act like the Gary they know. Jared guesses the reasoning behind this with relative ease and, with Gary’s permission, shares it with Dora. </p><p>“Maybe it’s time to move on,” she tells him. Her voice is small and strained, and her eyes glisten with tears. “You’ve always wanted to study evolution. Maybe it’s time for you to pursue it.” </p><p>He doesn’t need Tracey’s observation skills to know just how hard it is for her to say it and he surprises himself when he hugs her. He's never been the hugging sort, but Dora's been nothing short of amazing from day one. He'll miss her immensely when he leaves Sayda.</p><p>Her suggestion is just the push he needs. With everything that’s been on his mind in recent months, he’s hardly had time to think about his independent research, much less actually focus on it. He doesn’t have a plan in mind for where to go from Sayda - he’s always figured something would come along, but that’s not the case. Everyone has suggestions, but it’s Crystal who makes the very simple suggestion to just stay and study at Sayda until something else comes along. </p><p>And so Gary stays at Sayda, working with his pokemon and Aerodactyl, studying evolution independently, and helping minimally in the lab. He ends up training with his pokemon a lot more than expected, which proves helpful when his sixteenth birthday rolls around and a gift from his grandfather drops his next project into his lap. </p><p>A special duo of stones send him off to a new region to explore a whole new type of evolution. While on the flight to Kalos, Gary can’t help but reflect on the fact that he likely wouldn’t even be heading off on this particular adventure if one event hadn’t changed his life and the way he interacts with his pokemon.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Decades</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Final chapter! </p><p>This chapter was so much harder to write than I expected! It covers more time than the other chapters and includes a lot of stuff happening. It ended up being largely rewritten several times until I was happy with it, but it's almost twice as long as Chapters 1-4 combined!</p><p>More notes at the end to avoid spoilers (though certain tags are spoilers for it already).</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Recovery Takes:</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Decades</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaving Sayda is harder than Gary expects. The little island has been as safe a haven as Pallet and has been a place of so much growth… It feels odd to be leaving without the knowledge that he’ll be back in just a few months. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be away this time - he doesn’t have a job or a position with a project there anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kalos is incredibly different from Kanto, Johto, and Sinnoh, and Lumiose is an intimidatingly massive city. It isn’t bad… but Gary doesn’t care much for the bustling city. He very quickly comes to miss Sayda’s secluded beaches, so far away from the rest of the world. The chance to work with Professor Sycamore is exciting, given his specialty, but Gary finds himself more interested in working with his pokemon than in a lab. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s eager to begin working with Blastoise but he’s also told from the very beginning that Mega Evolution is exceptionally difficult and that it can take weeks or months for even the best trainers to manage it for the first time… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently the best trainers don’t already have a deep connection with their pokemon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary spends a week studying the theory and talking to researchers who study and trainers who practice Mega Evolution. He’s ready by the time he hits the battlefield with Blastoise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes nearly a week of intense work with Blastoise but they pull it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> It’s a rush unlike anything he has ever felt before - sheer energy radiates through him and for a brief moment, he is utterly connected with Blastoise. The glow around his starter fades and Gary catches the first glimpse of the Mega form… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, just like that, the energy is gone and he finds himself blinking up at Umbreon, Blastoise, and the trainer he’s working with from the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mega Evolution, he learns, isn’t just about the connection between trainer and pokemon. It requires an immense amount of energy that the human body simply isn’t used to. It takes time for the body to get used to accessing and utilizing such an amount of energy</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a few more tries before they manage to achieve a Mega Evolution without him passing out. Watching that ethereal glow encase Blastoise is an incredible moment and Gary quickly learns that he can’t be distracted by just how amazing it is to see his already-powerful starter evolve into something even stronger. Achieving Mega Evolution takes focus, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>holding</span>
  </em>
  <span> that evolution takes even more focus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding it and battling that way takes more time to get down but when they get there, it’s such a rush that Gary entirely forgets that he’s supposed to be studying and collecting data and instead proceeds to wipe the field with his opponent. Fortunately the trainer he’s working with seems to understand his excitement and is a good sport.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the time he’s there, Gary works more with Blastoise than he has since his early days as a trainer. The difference made by the years is stark and he knows it’s largely due to the experiences he’s had - the good and the bad. He finds that he’s missed it more than he realized and soon finds himself taking every chance he can to work with his pokemon - not just Blastoise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The research is interesting… He ends up rigging up several cameras so that he can focus on the battles and Mega Evolution in the moment and then focus on the research aspect later. It’s fascinating to slow down the footage and watch it again and again but it’s not always easy to focus when the adrenaline of the battle comes flooding back into his system. Fortunately for him, he doesn’t have to spend much time in the lab and when he does, much of his time is spent reviewing and analyzing footage of Blastoise and the pokemon of other trainers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even so, he finds himself growing bored of the lab. Sitting down at the desk to review data analysis leaves him restless and irritable. Writing dissertations leaves him frustrated and uninspired. The job part of the whole thing sucks the life out of him and drives him to find every excuse possible to just keep working with Blastoise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does manage to earn a handful of gym badges, but hardly has a chance to travel or explore beyond the cities. It’s… disappointing, honestly. But the gym battles are amazing, especially once he and Blastoise have Mega Evolution down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some days, he wonders why he left training… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Dora was right. Maybe it’s time to move on… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe Kalos just isn’t for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t connect to the region like he did Johto and Sinnoh. There aren’t pokemon that keep him there like Aerodactyl or the shieldon herd, nor are there people like Dora, Jared, and Crystal to form a little family with. On the plus side, there are no panic attacks, no nightmares. He doesn’t have any run-ins with Team Flare, but hears enough about them to be uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary returns to Kanto after less than a year, though what he learns and experiences stays with him, even as he bounces around from project to project for his remaining teen years. Most of his time is spent traveling through Kanto and Johto, studying anything from pokemon populations to attacks to ecosystems - whatever project happens to fall into his lap at the time. He doesn’t want to just pick a project and marry it. He may have the mind of a scientist, but he has the heart of a trainer. He wants adventure and different experiences. Being in the field makes him feel alive and connected to his pokemon, to nature, to the vast universe around him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The goal isn’t to be the best - that goal was squashed and pushed out of mind back when he was eleven - it’s to learn as much as he can and enjoy himself doing it… And that usually involves working with his pokemon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Training and battling feels so different these days and he can’t quite pin down </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s not just the Mega Evolution - he feels the difference when he’s battling with any pokemon, not just Blastoise. Maybe it’s that he’s older, smarter, more experienced - a better trainer in general - than he was as a child. It’s intuitive to him and he delights in seeing his pokemon show their true abilities against talented opponents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More than once he is asked why he doesn’t compete, challenge the Elite Four, become a gym leader… So many different questions that always linger in his mind far after being asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows why he became a researcher and he doesn’t regret it. But he does sometimes wonder where he would be if he had stayed a full-time trainer. The competitions don’t hold much appeal for Gary these days and if those don’t, then the Elite Four certainly doesn’t either. The gym leader idea is an interesting hypothetical to consider, but it’s not something he’s interested in as a teenager.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he is interested in is continuing training, so over the years, Gary spends time finding the perfect balance between his research and training. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s fairly easy at first, given how much of his time is spent out in the field but he finds this changing as the years go by. No matter where he goes, he notices a particular problem - one that was already present when he began training but has only steadily grown as training has become more and more commercialized. Poor care of pokemon is widespread, and intentional mistreatment and outright abuse is a larger problem than most people care to recognize. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is something that Gary has always been aware of - and unafraid to speak out against - but ever since that one conversation with Jared, he has been more aware of it than ever. He’s always been sickened by it, but the realization of just how terrible an impact it can have on a pokemon churns his stomach and makes his blood boil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having experienced the rage of a horribly abused pokemon directed at himself has given him a much deeper understanding of pokemon emotions and behaviors. It makes it much easier to work with pokemon who have been hurt or neglected by people. He can recognize a distinct sort of discomfort - and often fear - of humans in those pokemon. Between working with Aero and overcoming his own struggles, he has developed skills that make him particularly gifted at working with these pokemon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It starts small. Taking in an abandoned spearow on a training route, picking up an abused meowth left at a pokemon center, nursing a malnourished sentret back to health… Nothing he can’t handle while continuing to study and travel. But this changes in time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A fairly easy pokemon taken on here or there while he’s studying on the road morphs into harder cases - a particularly nervous slowpoke with a cut off tail from Johto, a perpetually terrified nidorina covered in scars… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He starts to gain recognition - amongst the Pokemon Center nurses, gym leaders, and regional professors, at least - for his work with the pokemon he finds. Soon the constant travels and field work for his research turns into carefully planned travel giving him the most time and stability possible while working closely with the pokemon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His skills continue to grow and by the time he turns twenty, he's mostly staying in Pallet, working with sick, injured, and abused pokemon in a designated corner of the corral. This extra stability - coupled with the equipment in the lab, the extra help from Tracey, and the expertise of his grandfather - gives him the ability to take on even wilder pokemon. A difficult gyarados taken off the hands of a trainer that bit off way more than they could chew, a cantankerous rapidash with a reputation for kicking… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of them are easy to work with, but all of them are success stories and are rehabilitated enough to become permanent residents at his grandfather’s lab. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It becomes his sole research focus over a few short years, and he learns more than he could have ever imagined learning. Already gifted at reading pokemon and their behavior, Tracey's expertise only adds to his knowledge, teaching him tricks that only a seasoned pokemon watcher would know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's not to say it's easier or safer to work with large, powerful creatures that have been traumatized far worse than what Gary has experienced. It's still hard to earn the trust of an angry and scared beast that can kill a human with the right attack. He ends up with cuts and bruises, stitches and scars… and the occasional nightmare following the rare misjudgment of an incoming attack. But the panic attacks are, surprisingly enough, absent. Perhaps it's that he's more focused on the pokemon than on himself in the moments that might trigger one, but Gary figures it likely also has to do with growing up, learning more about what happened to him, and appreciating the way it's changed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's not terribly long after his twenty-first birthday that he begins working with the most difficult pokemon he has ever encountered: an old but extremely powerful feraligatr. She is passed down to her original trainer’s son when that trainer dies and is quickly passed along when it is discovered just how vicious she is. In less than a month, she is passed around to a half dozen different trainers before being dumped unceremoniously at a rehabilitation facility in Johto.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They try their best with her, but she hurls attacks at anyone who approaches her enclosure and the very few attempts to enter it are met with terrifying displays of ferocity. The trainers swear she is impossible to work with and that she is a lost cause. The Johto gym leaders that are called in make no progress. After a few months, even the Elite Four is doubtful of the possibility of her rehabilitation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Lance that makes the call to bring in Gary after seeing the success he has had with other pokemon. That’s not to say he’s confident - he isn’t, but…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If anyone is capable of helping her, it’s you,” the head of the Elite Four tells him with a sigh of resignation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary is more than aware that everyone views him as her last hope, but to him, that’s simply not true. There’s another trainer from Pallet that he’s sure could be successful if he isn’t… but he’s confident in his abilities. He won’t need to call in Ash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so he returns to Johto. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone at the rehabilitation center is reluctant to even let him near the enclosure when he first visits and he quickly learns why. He barely has a chance to register that it’s a rather nice enclosure before she lunges out of the water and slams a set of claws against the viewing window nearest to her. The screech of claws against glass sends shivers down Gary’s spine but the barrier holds - it’s strengthened with a special technology based on psychic energy, he learns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ventures closer to the habitat and she slinks back into the water, her long, thick tail disappearing beneath the surface. The reptilian pokemon is nowhere to be seen for a moment, until a red crest breaks the surface directly in front of him. Yellow eyes emerge and the water dances in ripples around Feraligatr as a deep growl rumbles from her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary takes a deep breath to calm his heart rate and steps closer until he is standing directly in front of the window. It is not atypical for a pokemon like this to behave this way at first - it’s fear and mistrust. Nothing more, nothing less. But she needs to get used to him and he needs to learn her mannerisms, so he is content to stand and watch as drops of water bounce along the bony ridges on her back. It’s mesmerizing, in a way…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He makes the bold decision to attempt to enter the enclosure with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She immediately hurls an attack at him, just as strong as any attack he's seen from Blastoise, and he barely manages to sidestep the incoming pulse of water. She snarls and lunges but he dodges and darts past her, quickly turning to face her. This puts his back to the pond in her enclosure, but it’s all going to plan. A growl rumbles through her and Gary feels the vibration within his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feraligatr charges again and Gary darts out of the way once more. As he moves, she reaches out and swipes at him with her claws. He’s fast enough to get out of her way, but two sharp claws just manage to scrape along his forearm. He hardly notices the pain as he spins to face her and backs towards the entrance, but he feels the wet warmth trickling down his arm. He doesn’t take a second to look at the damage - there’s no time for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately, she slides right back into the water and Gary takes the opportunity to duck out of the enclosure before she has a chance to turn and attack again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon is back at his side as soon as he is out of the enclosure and refuses to stray from him as he takes a few deep breaths to calm his pounding heart. A glance down at his arm shows that he is definitely bleeding, but it’s not bad. He won’t even need stitches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s still a very close call and Gary understands why no one attempts to enter the enclosure. Blood drips down his arm from the lacerations left in the wake of her claws and he sees her eyes break the surface of the water directly in front of him. Her gaze is piercing and intimidating, but Gary forces himself to see past the rage and fury.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is pain beneath all of it, and for Gary, it’s impossible not to see. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is a pokemon that has suffered a loss and has been repeatedly abandoned in a short period of time. What happened in her past is entirely unknown but he would wager that it was far from the loving care Umbreon and the rest of his team have received.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes follow him closely and he holds her gaze despite the chill that runs through him. He continues to watch as one of the head trainers cleans the blood off of his arm, thinking all the while of how he will work with her. There will have to be work through the glass to habituate her to his presence, but he will need to venture back into the exhibit for his preferred hands-on approach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’ll have to work out a plan but, for now, he studies her. Her jaws open in the water, emitting a loud hiss. Gary can’t help but admire the massive skull beneath her deep aqua skin and the long teeth. She is truly an impressive pokemon, enormous for her species and incredibly powerful. The crests on her back are as deep a crimson as the blood recently cleaned off Gary’s arm, the blue of her skin vibrant and bright as the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of what might have turned such a beautiful pokemon so vicious makes him feel ill. For the first time in a long while, the memory of the armored pokemon from Viridian flashes in his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This pokemon won’t end up like that one, he vows. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> get better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does she have a name?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl tending to his arm pauses with a frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the nearby trainers snorts. “Diabla." A few other trainers smirk or snicker - the girl tending to his arm does not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A burst of anger flashes through Gary and Umbreon nudges his uninjured arm with her nose. Her fur, he notices, is raised. She picks up on the context of the name from the way it is spoken as, Gary is certain, Feraligatr does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks to the trainer with an even gaze and notices the vivid scars lacing his arms. “You’re the one she almost killed, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trainer’s eyes narrow. “Yeah. What about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary shakes his head and glances back at the pokemon behind the glass - she hisses vehemently at the sight of the other trainer, her body language even more tense than it had been a moment prior. “Figures,” he mutters before turning to face the trainer fully. “You do realize they pick up on context, right? A name and an attitude like that, are you really surprised she attacked you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trainer doesn’t seem impressed, though some of the others seem to give pause at Gary’s words. “She attacked you too,” he points out irritably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon’s nose digs into his palm before Gary can retort. He immediately doesn’t like this trainer’s attitude - the guy has an air of arrogance to him. He must be a good trainer to work at this center but his attitude is far from ideal for working with a pokemon like this one. Gary wants to lay into the guy but he holds back, largely because he doesn’t know this guy’s experience. If he knows anything, it’s that you don’t always know the reason behind someone’s behavior. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he takes a deep breath and smooths a hand along Umbreon’s ear. “What’s your experience with pokemon?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trainer pauses at the calm question but smirks proudly. “Sixteen badges, two regions, top eight in the Indigo League three years straight and top four in the Silver Conference two years running.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary realizes rather suddenly just why he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> doesn’t like this trainer… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s like seeing his ten-year-old self grown up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glances back to Feraligatr - her teeth are bared as she growls again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Impressive,” Gary compliments honestly. The trainer smirks again but it quickly fades as he presses on. “But badges, competitions, and a good team doesn’t immediately qualify you to rehabilitate a pokemon like this. You have to have the right connection with pokemon. You have to be able to look past their aggression and see </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> they’re behaving the way they are. You have to be able to relate to their fear and help them overcome it. And if you’re acting like this after nearly having your arm ripped off by a pokemon… then you’re not ready to rehabilitate a pokemon like her.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t go over particularly well, but Gary shrugs it off. He's not there to impress anyone or make friends. He’s there to do what he does best: work with pokemon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He revisits the Viridian Gym in his dreams that night and bolts awake at the memory of psychic energy slamming into him. His mind flutters through a moment or two of pure anxiety before settling as Umbreon crawls into his lap and rests her head against his chest until she hears his heart beat slow back to its normal rhythm. He takes a few deep breaths and runs his fingers along her fur as he grounds himself in the present. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the first time in over a year that this has happened, but Umbreon still knows just what to do and Gary has only gotten better at calming himself as time goes on. Still, it’s hard to fall back asleep… Not necessarily because of the nightmare, but because it reminds him of the task that lies before him. After an hour of restless fidgeting, he gets out of bed and spends the rest of the night wandering through a nearby forest with Umbreon while his mind runs over all of the possible ways he could work with this Feraligatr. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They wander until the sky turns orange with the sunrise, by then he has a solid idea of what to do. When he returns to the rehabilitation center later that day - three cups of coffee and a visit to a fish market later - he heads straight to Feraligatr’s enclosure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He barely flinches when she attacks the viewing window. “Morning, pretty girl!” he greets cheerfully, holding up a large fish from the market. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trainers escorting him to the enclosure stare at him as though he’s grown a second head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feraligatr growls and slams her claws into the glass once more but Gary waits and watches until her aggression calms. He heads around to the entrance when she slinks back into the water and opens it as quietly as possible. Her eyes are already at the surface of the water and she quickly turns to him when he enters the enclosure but he tosses the fish to her before she can attack and watches, impressed, as she launches out of the water, catches it in her mouth, and retreats to a corner of the pond to swallow it down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary praises her and leaves the enclosure to return to the viewing window. They repeat this a few times and she is a little bit calmer each time. By the time Gary settles down in front of the window to observe her, she is significantly less ferocious than at the beginning of their session. She stays in the water with her eyes at the surface, watching him closely as he pulls out his notebook and begins taking notes. Eventually, she seems to understand that he isn’t going to do anything other than sit there and she pulls herself up onto the land to sun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This becomes their daily routine. Gary only enters the enclosure for a moment at a time to toss her a fish and offer her some praise and she calms significantly as a few weeks pass. She no longer attacks the glass when Gary approaches the enclosure… </span>
  <em>
    <span>most</span>
  </em>
  <span> days. She begins to wait at the water’s edge when he enters with a fish but snarls and lunges if he doesn’t immediately leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s another few weeks before he can even consider working with her inside the enclosure but by then his progress has earned him the respect of the trainers at the facility. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The problem is Gary knows he can’t work hands-on with Feraligatr the way he does with other pokemon. He still can’t go near her without her attacking and he has to rely on all of the skills he’s developed as a trainer, a researcher, and as someone who specifically works with these troubled pokemon - just to step in the enclosure to toss her a fish. He can’t rely purely on his reflexes with this pokemon… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needs a plan and has an idea, but it sounds crazy. He’s not even sure if he can do it, and it’s not just because of Feraligatr’s aggression… But he decides to go for it anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He uses Alakazam and his psychic attacks as a safety net of sorts. It’s far too dangerous to bring the pokemon into the enclosure with him but his psychic powers work even from the other side of the enclosure. He throws up a Barrier between Gary and Feraligatr when she lunges or hurls an attack at him. There is a distinct fear in the back of Gary’s mind that this will trigger a panic attack - although he hasn’t had one in years - while he’s in the enclosure with her. But he trusts Alakazam and knows the psychic type is plenty strong enough to protect him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It goes surprisingly well. Feraligatr focuses intently enough on Gary while he’s in there that she hardly notices Alakazam. And as for Gary… It’s been ten years since encountering that pokemon in Viridian and he is far enough away from it that a protective attack being used near him doesn’t bother him much more than the attacks that Feraligatr is throwing his way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart still skips a beat every time he feels that sudden flash of psychic energy rush past him, but that's to be expected, especially considering it coincides with a powerful pokemon either lunging at him or throwing a water attack his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, it's an immense relief knowing that utilizing Alakazam's protection won't trigger a panic attack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feraligatr eventually settles down enough that she doesn’t try to kill him every time he stays in her enclosure for more than a minute. After a month or so, Gary doesn't even really need Alakazam's help - though he continues to keep him on hand just in case. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another few months pass and she no longer attacks the glass - even if it’s a different trainer on the other side of it - and hasn't hurled an attack at anyone in weeks. There's still the occasional lunge at Gary but it's really only as a feeding response or a warning that she's growing tired of their current session… And it's nothing like the aggression she showed him in the beginning. He's familiar enough with her by now that he can see it coming and react in time. Alakazam is still present for their sessions but hasn't needed to intervene in over a month. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day, she even does the unthinkable and lets Gary touch her. It’s just a gentle stroke on the tail but it’s a world of difference from the start of their time together. And it soon enough grows into her allowing him closer and closer until he’s able to rest his hand on her snout without her so much as growling at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As surprising as this is, it’s nowhere near as big a surprise as what follows soon after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary is in the middle of a session with Feraligatr and Alakazam when a flash of red hair catches the corner of his eye. No one on the team that works around the ferocious crocodilian has hair that color and the only person Gary knows of with that color hair couldn’t possibly be at this little sanctuary. But when he finishes their session and ducks out of the enclosure after she slips back into her pond, Gary is surprised to see that their visitor is that exact person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The head of Kanto’s Elite Four extends a hand as the researcher approaches him. “Impressive work, Gary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t help but grin. It’s been nearly a year of constant work with her and this praise is something he is genuinely happy to receive. “Thanks, Lance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not the first time they’ve been in each other’s presence. Far from it. Gary has helped with several of the Pokemon League’s projects - especially with proposals on changes to training laws and requirements to prevent further pokemon abuse and neglect. And Lance has stepped in with input and advice on handling some of the less tame animals Gary has worked with. He’s a mentor, in a way, and always seems to show up when least expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that I don’t like seeing you, but what are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance smiles and it’s such a departure from his usual serious expression that Gary is immediately wary. “I have a proposition for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lemme guess… Murderous ursaring? Rampaging tyranitar?” Umbreon huffs from her usual spot at his side and he ruffles her fur playfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a job in Viridian City."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary pauses. After all these years, his stomach still tightens at just the name of the city. He’s managed to avoid the city for a decade… Umbreon’s nose digs into his palm and he smooths her fur automatically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confronting the city is worth it if he can help a pokemon in need. “What type of pokemon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary frowns as he wracks his brain for what sort of job Lance could possibly have for him in Viridian, of all places. "I'm not really doing the whole lab thing these days," he feels the need to point out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You haven't for years," Lance acknowledges with a nod. "Don't worry, there's no lab involved… Unless you want there to be."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A snarl causes both men to turn back to the enclosure - it seems a pidgey has had the audacity to land in one of Feraligatr’s trees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary smiles, amused. "I can't just leave her, Lance."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bring her with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She doesn't want to stay in a pokeball and the stress of a move could set us back months... What exactly is the job anyway?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The Viridian City Gym Leader."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary feels his heart stop for a brief moment. "What?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dragon trainer barely bats an eye at his obvious shock. "The gym has been abandoned for years now and the Pokemon League wants to reopen it. The Elite Four are pushing to put a quality trainer in charge of it - someone who is a good role model for young or aspiring trainers. You fit that bill quite well."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary is absolutely speechless. This can't possibly be happening. Something must have gone wrong in the session with Feraligatr - he must be unconscious and dreaming this. It has to be a concussion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This </span>
  <em>
    <span>can't</span>
  </em>
  <span> be reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon notices him floundering and steps on his foot, simultaneously nudging him with her nose and whining loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's definitely awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I'm not even a trainer anymore," he blurts out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance grins. He's likely amused by this, Gary figures. "Maybe not officially, but I think we both know what you do these days is closer to training than to research."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary has to admit he has a point there, but... “Aren’t there qualifications I need -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s cut off by Lance’s good-natured laugh. “Gary, if you hadn’t gone into research, I would have asked you years ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This throws him through a loop, but the surprise of it all is enough to counteract any anxiety he feels in regards to the mention of that city or its gym. His brain still struggles to catch up and process the conversation...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Besides,” Lance continues, “It’s my understanding that you might have some interest in seeing that old gym built into something new and positive."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How…?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your grandfather, of course." Lance waves a hand dismissively. "A trainer needs the approval of several people to become a gym leader these days - the Elite Four and the professor who gave them their starter included. The entire Elite Four approves of appointing you. When I spoke to your grandfather about it, he told me about your, ah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>experience</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You're not the only trainer to have that experience, by the way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm aware." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tone must convery how little he wants to talk about it - Lance moves the conversation along quickly. “The League wants to rebuild the entire gym from the ground up, ideally with input from the new gym leader. What do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary’s still rather speechless from the whole exchange, and understandably torn. He truly has no idea what to think or which way to lean in regards to a decision. In the back of his mind, his inner ten-year-old is beyond excited. But his adult self is wary for a whole multitude of reasons… And somewhere deep inside there is still a scared eleven-year-old shaking at the mere thought of ever going near that gym again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Much like working with Alakazam for the first time after Umbreon’s evolution, he has no idea how he might react to entering the gym, much less battling in it, calling it </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Even rebuilt, remodeled, with his own spin on it… There is absolutely no way to tell how he will react to it. The nightmares will come back - he knows this because of how easily they’ve returned here and there over the years. Whether or not the panic attacks will return - or how severe they might be - is entirely unknown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns to Feraligatr’s enclosure and watches her as he attempts to process it all. He’s quiet for a long while and Lance is kind enough to quietly watch the crocodilian pokemon swimming leisurely in her pond while Gary weighs his options. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did Gramps tell you about everything I dealt with after that pokemon in the gym?” he asks finally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance tilts his head as though trying to decide how to best answer the question. “He didn’t go into much detail, but he did say that you were never quite the same. He mentioned panic attacks and nightmares… But you were, what? Eleven? I remember how you were at ten, you’ve grown up a lot since then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary sighs as he looks back at him. Lance understands, but barely - he doesn’t fully grasp the impact it’s had on him, which Gary can understand. He’s always been a private sort of person, and his grandfather has always respected that. Of course Lance wouldn’t know the extent of the impact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I grew up </span>
  <em>
    <span>because</span>
  </em>
  <span> of what happened in that gym, Lance. I had panic attacks every day for months, I couldn’t work with my psychic pokemon for over a year…” He feels Umbreon lean against his thigh but doesn’t look away from Lance. “Everything I’ve done since then has been shaped by that. Umbreon evolved the way she did because I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares, so we traveled and trained instead. The way I worked with all of my pokemon changed because of that. I started working with pokemon like Feraligatr because of it. I still deal with it. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to function in that gym.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance isn't convinced - at least not when it comes to Gary's wariness. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit,” he says quietly. “You went on to compete in the Indigo League two months afterward and made it to the fourth round after only a year of training. The other trainers who encountered that pokemon gave up, but you went on to do incredible things, all while dealing with this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He might be right, but Gary’s never given it that much thought… He’s always been focused on what’s in front of him. When he was a child, he’d had dreams of being the best pokemon trainer around, of course. But thoughts of the future had taken a back seat when he began dealing with the panic attacks. Only able to take things one day at a time for well over a year, he had become determined to live in the moment as much as he could. It kept him from dwelling on the past…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, as he realizes, it also kept him from looking too far into the future. The current project was always where his focus was, and he has remained largely content to wait for the next project to present itself to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Gary relents. There's no reason to argue Lance's view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talk only a bit longer - Lance assures him that the gym is many months from being close to opening and that there is plenty of time to consider the offer. Gary agrees to think about it, but can’t make any promises beyond that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation moves to Feraligatr and her progress… Gary notices her eyes break the surface of the water nearest them as soon as they begin discussing her and he can’t help but smile a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has to admit that he can’t think of a better way for his training and career path to have evolved. This work suits him. His training abilities have led him to be able to do this and his research has naturally focused on the bonds between pokemon and trainer… He really has ended up following in his grandfather’s footsteps - he’s just done so in his own way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary finds himself lost in his thoughts while watching Feraligatr and something occurs to him. He’s been working with abused and neglected pokemon for years now, and he’s helped with League projects addressing the problems of neglect and abuse. As a researcher - even with a background in training and excellent connections in the League - he really doesn’t have much of a platform or voice to bring more awareness to the problems, much less the change needed to actually address them...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But gym leaders do have that platform. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said there could be a lab involved, if I wanted it,” Gary interrupts Lance mid-sentence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dragon trainer doesn’t look at all displeased by the interruption - quite the opposite. “It’s become a League goal for all gym leaders to have some sort of community involvement outside of just battling and mentoring trainers. It could be just about anything: Misty does swimming lessons, Erika has gardening workshops… You could have a lab if you wanted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I wanted something different?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance’s grin makes Gary suspect that this is probably all going to some plan that he had all along. “Such as?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary looks back to Feraligatr and watches as she whirls in the water to snarl at the pidgey that has once again landed in her tree. “A rehabilitation facility.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kanto needs one,” Lance replies with an approving nod. “Are you on board if I promise you your own rehabilitation center?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary can’t help but laugh as he catches the hopeful edge to Lance’s voice. “I said I’d think about… But if you’re gonna promise me my own rehab center, I’ll think about it a lot harder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind is whirling with thoughts and emotions by the time he makes it back to his little apartment that evening. He tries to quiet his mind with some deep breathing but it doesn’t work particularly well, which isn’t much of a surprise to him, all things considered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, most of his swirling thoughts revolve around what he would do with his own gym. It takes some time to place the emotion he feels, and when he finally does figure it out, he’s fairly certain he knows his answer… It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>excitement</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he feels: genuine, childlike excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s almost like the realization of a dream he had forgotten he’d ever had. He’s determined to move on, to break out of the present and look to the future. But there’s wariness beneath it all, concern over how it’ll all play out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And excited and determined as he is, that wariness is difficult to overcome. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s one thing to fantasize about being a gym leader, but committing to it is another. As he thinks about it, a bit of the excitement fades and is replaced with anxiety. There's a fear that he hasn’t come far enough to do what he wants to do. It’s not dissimilar to how he felt before leaving for Johto as a trainer: it’s an odd sort of combination of hesitation and excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's hard to sleep that night and he finds himself startled awake multiple times by the same nightmare that's plagued him over the years. Umbreon helps him settle and go back to sleep each time but when morning comes, Gary is unsure of his answer for Lance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The excitement he’s felt the evening before dissolves into anxiety.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The weight of indecision leaves an churning feeling in his gut that can't simply be swept away by deep breathing or wandering the forest with Umbreon. It stays in the back of his mind the entire day, even as he works with Feraligatr and several of the other pokemon that reside at the facility. With every pokemon he works with comes the thought of his own facility and the different ways he could keep and care for the pokemon that would come to it. He has enough experience now that he knows what he would need to be successful, and that makes it a fun bit of fantasy… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he hits the same wall each time - it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Viridian</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s frustrating, to bounce between excitement and anxiety all day, especially as he’s trying to focus on his work. Especially when he actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go for it but just… can’t make that call. It’s as though a cold hand wraps itself around his heart every time he remembers just which gym it is that’s being offered to him. It brings him closer to the edge of a panic attack than he’s been in the past several years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, rather than dwelling on it anymore, he picks up the phone and calls the lab in Pallet. His grandfather always knows what to say to help him when he needs it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except it's not his grandfather who answers. It’s Tracey… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the thing about talking to Tracey is that he doesn’t miss a single thing. He sees right through Gary’s attempt to shrug it off as nothing when he tells him that the professor is visiting Celadon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary gives in to his friend’s questions with only a few prods from Umbreon. He explains the mounting frustration and the trepidation he feels surrounding it all - but also the excitement. Tracey listens patiently. He can tell in an instant if Gary’s holding anything back, if there’s something deeper behind what he’s said, and they’re close enough that Tracey can pull more details from Gary without it being a stress at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It also helps that he’s aware of the whole deal with the Viridian Gym. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, it’s the mention of Ash and his recent championship in Alola that makes the real difference.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He'd be really excited for you if he heard you'd been offered a gym leader position." Tracey laughs a bit. "He'd probably give you a real piece of his mind if you passed it up just because of what happened when you were a kid… Especially if he knew about that rehab center part."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary smiles and shakes his head. "Yeah, that sounds like Ash." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he thinks on it, he knows that he really doesn't have a reason to turn the position down, other than that one experience. Especially considering what Lance is offering him if he takes it… Ash would </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> lay into him if he knew Gary passed up being a gym leader </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> having his own pokemon rehabilitation center just because of one bad afternoon when he was eleven. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s in Galar now… I bet he’d fly right back to Kanto to be your first battle in a new gym.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The anticipation of battling Ash again - as adults, not just kids - sends a thrill of excitement through Gary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it also reminds him of something - Ash has also dealt with difficult and terrifying things. He’s dealt with Team Rocket for years, he’s encountered dangerous pokemon, he’s experienced bad people’s influence… And he’s kept going throughout it all. Granted, Gary has also always kept going and growing, but the reminder that someone close to him has gone through difficult times makes something click.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s enough to overcome the hesitation and wariness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary shoots Tracey a grin. “Guess I can’t deny him that, can I? But if he tries melting my battlefield, I might sic Arcanine on him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tracey laughs and their conversation turns toward the gym. They go back and forth with ideas for the gym and ways to incorporate pokemon rehabilitation, talking for so long that the Professor returns from his day trip to Celadon with enough time for Gary to personally tell him his decision. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man is clearly excited by the news - likely largely due to the fact that it will be bringing Gary back to Kanto - and he’s quick to praise Gary for making the decision. He understands better than anyone that it’s not an easy one to come to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Gary gets off the phone with the two of them, he barely has time to call Lance to give him his answer before he needs to wind down for bed. The dragon master is hardly surprised but is pleased with the response nonetheless. He’s quick to remind Gary that the plan is to rebuild from the ground up and that the gym won’t be ready for months at the absolute earliest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They make plans for Gary to travel back to Kanto so they can look at the current state of the gym and discuss logistics in the coming weeks. And he has a lot to learn about the ins and outs of running a gym, Lance informs him. He spends every spare minute over the next two weeks poring over League guidelines and rule books, learning everything he possibly can about running a gym. It’s almost overwhelming, but Gary pushes through - this is only temporary, he reminds himself when it starts to feel like too much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things will get easier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They always do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It almost feels like a vacation when it finally comes time to head over to Kanto, but leaving the pokemon behind - even for only a week - is hard to stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stays in Pallet to relax a few days beforehand but knowing that he’s going to be heading over to Viridian leaves him a ball of anxiety. The nights leading up to the first visit of the gym are plagued by nightmares of that pokemon being there when he goes. He gives up on sleep the second night and resorts to exploring the corral under the moonlight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s quiet and serene, just as Pallet always is, and it soothes some of his frayed nerves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of the pokemon are sleeping, though some stir and blink sleepily at him before going back to resting. A handful of bat pokemon flutter nearby and Gary has to laugh a bit at Umbreon’s irritated huff. He smooths down her bristled fur as he watches them with a smile, reminded of his companion’s evolution. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pair of gleaming eyes catches his attention and he looks over in time to see a large cream colored feline step into the moonlight. Umbreon bounds towards their new companion with a cheerful cry and Gary gives them a moment to greet each other before he extends his hand to the pokemon. The persian rubs his head against Gary’s hand and leans against his side, his long tail flicking casually through the air. A loud purr rumbles through the large cat as they walk along and Gary marvels a bit at just how far this pokemon has come over the years - once a scared and abused meowth, Persian is among the first of the pokemon that Gary has rehabilitated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing him reminds Gary of why he’s doing this, why he’s returning to the gym that changed his life so very much. He’s loved pokemon his entire life but ever since that moment of bonding with his newly hatched eevee and later experiencing her evolution, the bonds between pokemon and trainer have been fascinating and deeply important to him. Helping Aerodactyl overcome his fears of people sparked something in him and led him to this point where helping pokemon in need is his passion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The chance to help more pokemon is a major driving force in the decision to take the gym leader position. He’s determined not to let the nerves win. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He manages to keep his anxiety in check over the next few days. When it’s finally the day to visit the gym, he’s tense and quiet, but he still manages to keep it together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance picks him up in his car and drives from the lab in Pallet to the Viridian Gym. Gary has avoided the city at all costs and hasn’t kept up with any information about it, and so Lance spends much of the trip to the gym filling him in on everything that’s happened since... There isn’t much to say: the gym was rebuilt after it collapsed, stand-in leaders ran it sporadically for a few short years, but it was ultimately abandoned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t entirely surprise Gary that no one would stay at that gym, given its history with Team Rocket. But at least he won’t have to deal with anything left behind by its former leader, given the explosion and rebuilding. It’s a substantial weight off of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car comes to a stop in front of the gym and any words escape him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though the original gym is gone, the rebuilt one looks far too much like the original for Gary’s liking. Entering it for the first time is harder than he anticipates. He can feel his breath catch as he hesitates before the grand entryway - Umbreon’s nose digs into his palm. He takes a deep breath and forces himself over the threshold and into the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beyond the entrance, it's evident that the building has been abandoned. Every surface is coated in dust, cobwebs stretch across corners… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the battlefield is still intact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looks just like the one he battled on half a lifetime ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he looks across the field, his eyes settle upon the leader’s platform - and the wall below it. It doesn’t appear to be a door these days but Gary still freezes at the sight of it. The memory of it rising to reveal the armored pokemon plays in his mind and he feels his stomach drop. Umbreon nudges him again but he barely feels it this time as his heart pounds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance’s voice fades, replaced by the screams that echo through his mind. The walls seem to close in around him and it’s suddenly hard to breathe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He only vaguely hears Umbreon’s loud bark but the sound of two pokeballs opening in rapid succession brings him back to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closes his eyes and forces himself to take several deep breaths as two canid forms press against either side of him. Umbreon’s sleek fur is as familiar and comforting as ever but the long, thin tail curving along his calf and the curved horn brushing against his arm are less familiar. The other dark-type leaning against him is no less welcome than Umbreon’s presence and the less familiar sensations ground him further in the present - just one of several reasons he chose to bring Houndoom rather than Arcanine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He runs a hand over Houndoom’s skull and opens his eyes to find Ninetales in front of him, her many tails flicking calmly through the air. Focusing on the soothing movement, Gary takes a few more deep breaths before becoming aware of just how quiet the gym is - Lance had been talking away when they entered the gym, but has since fallen silent. He looks over at him and forces himself to focus on the man and not the former door behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were saying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance stares at him for the briefest of moments before clearing his throat. “I was explaining the focus we’ve been putting on the battle arenas in the renovated gyms. It’s what the public sees and should be the focal point of the gym.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary nods, still keeping his eyes carefully trained on the head of the Elite Four. “The gym should be focused on the pokemon," he agrees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. We want the battle arena to reflect the gym type and the badge it represents. It should also be able to support the wide array of pokemon that may use it. Cerulean has rock formations like those along the Cape and can be flooded for aquatic pokemon to better utilize. Pewter is based directly off of Mount Moon. Any ideas?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary’s eyes sweep across the battlefield’s dirt floor and concrete walls. It doesn’t take more than a second to imagine what his own design would be. “Pallet,” he replies easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before Viridian was settled, it was just like Pallet. All forests and grasslands. That’s what the gym should be modeled after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A grassland is rather simple,” Lance observes thoughtfully. “We would need to spruce it up a bit to make it fit the League’s vision of the new gyms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So add some hills and trees.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smirk curves Lance’s lips. “Oak trees, I assume?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary rolls his eyes but laughs. “Well, it wouldn’t reflect the gym leader very well if they were all elms, now would it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance laughs in turn and gestures for Gary to follow him past the leader platform. Taking a deep breath, Gary returns Ninetales and trails after Lance with both Umbreon and Houndoom at his side. He shudders as they pass by the spot where that pokemon had appeared all those years ago, but forces himself to breathe and keep walking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They explore beyond the battlefield and, as they go further into the gym, Gary feels the tension leaving him. The behind-the-scenes rooms are very much what would be found in other gyms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing stands out… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact, it’s actually quite </span>
  <em>
    <span>boring</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s all offices with very little space for pokemon, which strikes Gary as rather inappropriate for a building that is supposed to be dedicated to pokemon training and battling. How are gym leaders supposed to inspire young trainers and raise healthy pokemon in a setting like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon seeing it all, Gary understands why the League is redoing the gyms - or at least why they </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be doing just that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Lance spend most of the day touring the gym and discussing the League expectations and Gary's ideas for meeting them. The ideas he has are not the easiest to implement - a rehabilitation facility takes a lot of space and resources - but Lance is confident that he can convince the Pokemon League to go for it... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All in all, it's not as bad as he expected. There are a few nightmares over the next few nights, but he manages to shake them off and fall back asleep with ease. Some anxiety lingers, flitting about in his stomach, but it's nothing he can't handle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s nothing he hasn’t handled before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gym is bulldozed less than a week after Gary returns to Johto. He can't describe the immense sense of relief that fills him at the photo Lance texts him of the destroyed building. Umbreon looks up, startled and concerned by the small sob that escapes him. The amount of emotion he feels surprises him as he shakily holds the phone out to Umbreon and Arcanine to show them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon, usually so sure with her actions, hesitates - but Arcanine seems to understand. The massive fire dog gives a sympathetic sort of whine and licks away the tears that come while Umbreon watches on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is a sense of closure that he hadn’t realized he needed so desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only a few days later, Lance arrives at the center in Johto with a thick stack of plans for the gym. Among the plans are artist sketches of what it will look like completed… Gary falls silent as Lance hands him the sketch of the battle arena, his words entirely failing him as a flurry of emotion swirls within him. It's stunning, designed much like a valley between gently sloping hills, and is surrounded by oak trees and wildflowers native to Kanto. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looks just like the Pallet wilderness that he explored while bonding with his eevee when he was still struggling with nightmares and learning to manage panic attacks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it's nothing compared to the sketch Lance hands him next.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sprawling courtyard surrounds most of the gym, with paths forking between numbered shapes that appear to be filled with vegetation and water features. It dwarfs the gym with its size and Gary can't do anything more than simply stare, absolutely dumbfounded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's your rehab facility," Lance says quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feraligatr growls somewhere in her enclosure behind them but Gary barely hears it. It seems unreal. Umbreon huffs impatiently and brings her paw down on his foot, bringing him out of his stupor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The pokemon are going to love it,” he finally manages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gym isn’t ready for several months and Lance strictly forbids Gary seeing it during that time. He stops by the center in Johto regularly and fills him in on some of the progress, shows him the occasional teasing photograph that ignites his curiosity and excitement, but gives away very little information. It’s frustrating, but in an exciting way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He works hard to find a good balance between working with Feraligatr and the other pokemon at the center in Johto, working with his own pokemon, and preparing for his new role. It’s not always easy, but he manages. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, there is very little anxiety about it all and the nightmares are virtually nonexistent. The name </span>
  <em>
    <span>Viridian</span>
  </em>
  <span> becomes less menacing and it’s not long before hearing the name brings a smile to his face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance sets him up with a few of Kanto’s gym leaders to act as mentors of sorts for him - including Ash’s old traveling buddies, Brock and Misty. He is pleasantly surprised by how easily he gets along with them, especially Misty. They are fast friends and it’s not long before she’s visiting Johto and meeting Feraligatr. She is amazed by the crocodilian pokemon and the bond she has formed with Gary… And Gary is in turn surprised by how much Feraligatr seems to like the gym leader - she even lets Misty touch her without growling, a feat only Gary has been able to achieve thus far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s all so much easier than he expected - in fact, the hardest part of it all is preparing Feraligatr for her move from Johto to Kanto. Lance assures him that her enclosure will be even better than her current one, but that’s far from Gary’s biggest concern about her. She hates pokeballs and snarls vehemently when she sees one, but Gary works slowly with her and makes sure that the only experiences she has with one are positive. It takes months, but she slowly grows used to her pokeball being enlarged near her and then to being called into it for increasingly long periods of time. Gary never leaves her in for long and always has a fish waiting for her as a reward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It eventually comes time for him to return to Kanto and for her to move to her new home. He and Misty work out a plan for the big day - Gary will call her into the pokeball as he normally does and will immediately transfer the ball to the Viridian City Gym, where Misty and Lance will be waiting to release her into her new enclosure. It shouldn’t take more than five minutes… but he won't reach Viridian until the next day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact that he won't be the one to release her into her new home eats away at him, but he has to be the one to call her into the pokeball. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He starts their session the same way he always has. "Hey, pretty girl!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs as she catches sight of the fish he's holding and immediately heads to the shore of her pond, sending a wave of water against the viewing window in her haste. He nods to Alakazam, who is waiting nearby, and heads around to the entrance - she’s already waiting at the edge of the water when he closes the door behind him, and she catches the tossed fish with ease. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary approaches her once she has swallowed it down, raising his empty hands to show that it’s not time for food. She lowers her head with a grumble but waits patiently for him. They go through their normal routine just as they have for the last several months before it comes time to put the plan in motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls her ball from his belt and expands and shrinks it a few times to get a feel for her mood. She doesn’t take her eyes off of him, but also doesn’t snarl, charge, or show any signs of aggression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a good sign.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This time is gonna be different, girl… When you come out of the ball, you’ll be in a new place. I won’t be there, but Misty will. She’ll take good care of you tonight and I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tilts her head as though considering his words - given her past, she has a perfectly good reason not to trust what humans tell her. But the bond she and Gary have formed is special, and he feels a triumphant swoop in his stomach when she gives her acquiescent growl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He meets and holds her gaze as he expands the pokeball one final time. “I promise,” he repeats firmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he can raise the ball, she steps forward and rears up, lifting her head high. Gary resists the instinct to back away and instead raises a hand towards her. Her nostrils flare as she gives a soft grumble and lifts her head the final distance to touch his hand with her snout. He smiles as he runs his hand along the smooth skin covering her skull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes flutter closed and he raises the pokeball with his other hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures her before she becomes engulfed in light and disappears into the ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Determined to keep her from being in the ball longer than necessary, Gary darts over to the facility’s office and boots up the old transfer system. It’s only a few minutes before the cell phone in his pocket vibrates with a message from Misty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could swear he feels time stand still when he opens it. It’s a photo of Feraligatr swimming in what looks to be a pond more than double the size of the one she’s been in for over two years. It's his first glimpse of an absolutely breathtaking enclosure. In the background is a stone waterfall cascading into that pond. He can see plants and trees throughout the entire background and knows immediately, without a doubt, that this was the right call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling only strengthens when he finally makes it to Viridian and sees the gym - </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> gym - for the first time. Surrounded by trees and plants, the rather unassuming building looks absolutely nothing like the original gym. It very well could be at the edge of the Viridian Forest with the number of trees that have been transplanted there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pauses outside the entrance, surprised by the amount of excitement swelling within him when he reads his own name on the sign next to the door. It’s nothing compared to what he feels when the doors open and he’s greeted with the sight of the battlefield. It looks exactly like the sketch Lance had shown him so many months earlier but it still stops him in his tracks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The field itself is a sea of green grass, the outer edges slope gently upwards, giving the illusion of hills. The walls are obscured by plants, the only exceptions being the trainer and gym leader entrances on either end of the enormous space. Sunshine beams through a towering glass ceiling, filling the entire gym with natural light and warmth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance explains a complicated watering and drainage system but Gary hears none of it as he stares around in absolute awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s as though he stepped through a doorway and walked straight into the wilds of Route One… It even smells like the outdoors: rich and earthy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon’s familiar weight leans against his leg but he can’t quite pull his thoughts and focus back together - for once, this isn’t a bad thing. The gym looks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>feels</span>
  </em>
  <span> so different that he struggles to see how this incredible place is built in the very same spot that caused him so much grief - weeks lost to terrifying panic attacks, months of depression and anxiety, years of trying to understand… And now, over a decade later, he stands in very nearly the same exact spot where he was attacked as a child and sees a very different place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The leader entrance is in the same spot where the mysterious pokemon appeared so long ago. This realization sends the tiniest flutter of apprehension through him but as he takes a deep breath and lets his fingers smooth over Umbreon’s fur, he finds that it dissipates as quickly as it came. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t help but grin as he finally looks over to the leader of the Elite Four. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No panic attacks?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary shakes his head. "It's all so different… I don't know how I could possibly have a panic attack here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon nudges his hand with a whine, but it’s different this time. She holds her head high, her whine a happy, proud sound. The dark type moves forward and backward, almost prancing in place as she looks up at her trainer, her tail wagging all the while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her excitement is contagious and Gary laughs as he muses her fur. “You’re looking forward to battling here, aren’t you, Bre?” She gives a loud yip in response and even Lance laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They go through the rest of the gym rather quickly. Most of the space is dedicated to the pokemon with a room for food preparation and another for first aid and medical treatment - both of which are impressively large. There’s a small office and a storage room but neither stand out, especially not after they head outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The courtyard sprawls away from the building with paths snaking between habitats that are enclosed by simple picket fences for the more tame pokemon. A familiar blue head lifts from the water of a large pond in the nearest habitat and Gary grins at the sight of his starter. Blastoise is not easy to please but he seems perfectly happy in the pond - that's all the information Gary needs for his own approval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several of his other pokemon are scattered about, all at perfect ease as they go about their business, but the part that Gary is most eager to see is hidden from view by foliage and a waterfall that feeds into the pond Blastoise is lurking in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he voices his approval he hears a familiar growl rumble over the grounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She hears you," Lance laughs. He gestures for Gary to follow him along the pathway towards the secure enclosures - and to the Feraligatr that is apparently eagerly awaiting seeing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Excitement flutters through Gary, just as it has been all day, but as he turns away from the waterfall, something catches his peripheral… Something in the sky above, moving out of sight as he raises his eyes. A ripple of energy shimmers in the sunlight and he pauses, watching for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looks almost like psychic energy...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon stops next to him with a soft whine of curiosity. Her nose touches his hand and he remembers to breathe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gary, come on!” Misty’s voice startles him, briefly pulling his attention away from the sky. “You can stare at the waterfall later!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shimmer is gone when Gary looks back and he wonders briefly whether he actually saw something or if it was just a trick of the light and a pidgey flying overhead. He shakes it off and follows the path Lance disappeared down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hurries to catch up but stops in his tracks as soon as he rounds the corner. Feraligatr’s enclosure is massive and beautiful, but that’s not what stops him. The water type stands in a deeper spot in the water, her hind legs planted on the bottom with her top half floating at the top of the water - all visible from a window looking directly into the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But most surprising is the fact that Misty is in the water with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you still alive?” he blurts incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misty and Lance both laugh at the question. “You’re the one who did all the work to get her to this point,” the other gym leader points out. “You tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s one thing to see how his work has improved the pokemon’s behavior towards himself, but seeing another person - one who hasn’t been involved the whole time - reap those benefits is a surreal moment. It clicks somewhere in his mind that he really has made a difference…  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His former confidence never quite returned after being so brutally humbled as a child, but now… Pride swells up within him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> is what he’s done - what he’s worked to achieve and what he’s succeeded in doing. Never mind the </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> behind it all, the burning desire to keep other pokemon from turning evil as a result of humans - the work is intense and draining but rewarding and so incredibly valuable… and he’s done it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance was right, he realizes: he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> given himself enough credit. The sight of Misty swimming in the water with what has been the most dangerous and difficult pokemon he has ever had the absolute joy of working with makes him realize just how far he’s come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well? Aren’t you going to greet her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance steers him in the direction of the entrance to the enclosure before he can say anything - not that he needs any more encouragement to join Misty in the enclosure. Feraligatr moves to the edge of the pond as soon as he enters and greets him with a throaty grumble. For the first time in working with her, Gary opts to throw their routine out the window and spends his time in the enclosure simply appreciating how far they have both come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is, all in all, a pleasant afternoon spent with peers he honestly considers friends. The shimmer in the sky is far from his mind, and his past with Viridian City and the old gym have never been further from his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that changes after Misty leaves...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tired, but still too energetic to settle down for bed, Gary brings all four of his prized canid pokemon out to the courtyard to play. Umbreon doesn’t stray far from his side, even as he plays with Houndoom and Arcanine, while Ninetales prefers to lounge and watch from a safe distance as the sun goes down. It’s as he’s taking a break from playing with Arcanine to give his prissiest canine some attention that a shimmer in the air catches his eye. Ninetales follows his gaze to the sky just as Gary wonders whether it is the same thing he saw earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arcanine and Houndoom stop their playful tussling to look as well - it’s not just a trick of the light. Curious, Gary moves away from the tree he and Ninetales are sitting under to get a better look. It looks almost as though the air itself is dancing under a subtle light… Just like psychic energy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wave of unease flows through Gary as the disturbance moves closer. Umbreon takes her place at his side and gives his hand a reassuring nudge before settling into her defensive position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels the psychic energy rippling through the air before he sees the pokemon. He’s felt psychic energy every time he's worked with a psychic type and they all feel similar - but this one is distinct and more powerful than he’s ever felt before… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chill creeps down Gary's spine. He’s felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> pokemon before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart pounds, he has to force himself to breathe. Umbreon's sleek fur moves beneath his hand as she steps from his side to stand between him and the approaching energy. Ninetales steps forward to take her place as a snarl rumbles through Arcanine at his other side. He doesn't need to look to know that Houndoom is at his back - she's always been the quiet protector of the bunch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shimmer fades abruptly and is replaced with a pokemon that he recognizes in an instant, even without the armor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Umbreon’s snarl comes a split second before her attack - which is blocked effortlessly with a barrier far stronger than one Gary has ever seen before. She plants herself directly in front of him, growling as she charges up another attack. Arcanine and Ninetales both tense as they charge up their own attacks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as he looks to the pokemon from his nightmares, he sees no ill will from it. Its posture is not defensive or threatening. Gary senses that it means no harm. If it wanted to attack, it would have already. He warily calls off Umbreon before she can unleash her second attack. She stops charging up her attack but doesn’t move and doesn’t take her eyes off of the pokemon as it lands, light as air, in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without the armor, Gary can see just how unlike any other pokemon this one is. Humanoid, it stands taller than him and seems to stare straight into his very soul with its intelligent eyes. Time has not made the creature any less terrifying, whether it appears threatening or not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is every bit as intimidating as it was over a decade ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can feel a panic attack creeping in but stays rooted in place, unable to move even if he wanted to. It takes sincere effort to keep his eyes trained on the pokemon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve come a long way, young trainer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice that echoes in his mind is the same one that has haunted his nightmares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tries - and fails - to suppress the shudder that runs through him at the sound of that voice, the feel of tendrils of psychic energy weaving around his head to transmit the telepathic words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a moment to find his voice. “Yeah, you could say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those psychic tendrils dance around his skull, phantom fingers tugging uncomfortably at his mind. He can feel the energy traveling through him - not painful, but far from pleasant...His fingers tighten in Arcanine’s fur as he tries to steady his breath, his heart. Ninetales and Arcanine both press closer to his sides. Umbreon snarls at the pokemon and Houndoom steps forward to join her in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The memory of his initial encounter with this pokemon is pulled to the front of his mind - but it’s more powerful than just a mere memory. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>feels</span>
  </em>
  <span> the pain of psychic energy slamming into him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hears</span>
  </em>
  <span> the screams echoing around him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sees</span>
  </em>
  <span> his prized pokemon hurled against the wall behind him… and feels the absolute terror well up within him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breathing is suddenly far too difficult and it feels as though a hand is closing tightly around his throat - but it’s not the pokemon’s doing. His own pokemon don’t understand this and his two dark types hurl powerful attacks that harmlessly dissipate in front of the psychic type. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His vision sways as he relives the moment of waking up in the original gym to Ash’s worried face. The memories of countless panic attacks meld together, intermingled with the sensation of bolting awake in the middle of the night so many times over the years. His heart pounds harder, faster as the creature flips through his memories as though they’re pages in a book. The conversation with Jared, the work with Aerodactyl, the decision to leave the field of resurrection science, the experience of Mega Evolution with Blastoise, the first encounter with Feraligatr… They all play through his mind with shocking clarity in a matter of seconds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The psychic tendrils gently ease away but he hardly notices as a queasy dizziness stronger than he’s felt in years takes over… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He staggers slightly in sudden exhaustion but a warm feeling washes over him and all of the exhaustion, dizziness, queasiness fade as quickly they appeared. He can breathe again and doesn’t need to rest his hands on Arcanine and Ninetales to keep from falling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary looks up at the pokemon, puzzled for a brief moment before it clicks - Recover. It’s a psychic type, of course it knows the move. But that doesn’t make Gary any less surprised that it used the move on him… nor does it make him any less wary of the creature standing before him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart still pounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pokemon tilts its head, studying him and Gary is taken aback by the intelligence in its gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you still find me evil, trainer?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The question catches him by surprise. He smooths down Arcanine's bristled fur and takes a breath, forces himself to stare into the eyes of the pokemon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The intelligence he sees there is terrifying in its strength… but what he sees beneath that intelligence is startling, considering how they originally met - compassion is what he sees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pokemon before him is very different from the one who attacked him over a decade prior, even if they are one and the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This isn't an evil creature, though he's been certain of that ever since that one conversation with Jared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Gary replies honestly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. Pokemon aren’t evil… Not without humans making them that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pokemon inclines its head slightly, as though giving a nod. “You are wiser than most,” it observes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At a younger age, Gary would have boasted about this fact. These days he is well aware that everything he knows is borne out of experience… and some of that knowledge has come at a cost. While he’s confident in the validity of his wisdom, he is far from arrogant. “Most haven’t experienced the things I have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Humans have a tendency to not learn from their experiences, but you have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows it’s a very true observation but is unsure of what to say in response. Even with the Recover, his pounding heart and shallow breath has a headache creeping in. Thinking would be difficult even without a highly intelligent, supremely powerful pokemon standing across from him. There have been so many questions and curiosities over the years, but all escape him… except for one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pokemon looks to the gym and with those psychic tendrils still about, Gary catches brief glimpses of the pokemon’s feelings and thoughts. He is struck by an overwhelming feeling of conflict and can’t quite tell if it’s from him or the creature.  A moment passes before it speaks again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was once the site of many atrocities unknown to your Pokemon League. My story and your experience are not entirely unique.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through the line of telepathy Gary catches a flicker of what feels much like regret and knows, with certainty this time, that it is from the pokemon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” he realizes. The pokemon inclines its head in a simple nod. “It won’t. This is a place for pokemon to grow, to heal - I won’t let this gym be anything like it was when Giovanni was the leader.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those phantom tendrils snake around his head once more and Gary feels the pokemon tug at his memories once more - this time reaching for memories with his pokemon. Sneaking into his grandfather’s lab to play with the baby squirtle his heart is set on, taming the feisty spearow that is his first catch, delicately earning the trust of a cantankerous wild magmar at Cinnabar Island, carefully raising the tiny houndour pup he finds alone outside of Goldenrod City, attentively caring for the herd of shieldon in Sinnoh, and helping so many pokemon over the last several years… All instances where his dedication to pokemon has shone through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pokemon pulls the psychic energy back from him and Gary takes a deep breath. Accessing these memories brings pride and genuine happiness to him, but the feeling of someone else rifling through his brain is disorienting at best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a trainer who cares deeply for pokemon,” it observes after a moment. “I am grateful this site has been given to a trainer such as yourself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And like that, the pokemon is gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His pokemon peer around, as startled and confused by the sudden departure as he is. Umbreon turns and returns to him once she is certain the genetic pokemon is gone. Gary peers into the night sky, searching for that glimmer of psychic energy as he absently pets Arcanine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s been a thoroughly unexpected - and exhausting - end to an exciting day. As his heart rate settles back into its normal rhythm, he can’t help but feel grateful that the pokemon made an appearance. There has been a fear in the back of his mind for over a decade that he might encounter the mysterious pokemon once more, but now that he has faced that fear, he feels as though a weight is lifted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’ll likely still have that recurring nightmare tonight, but some anxious part in the back of his mind finally settles and calms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All four dog-like pokemon sleep in the bedroom of his apartment above the gym that night, Umbreon curled next to him as always, Arcanine and Ninetales on either side of the bed, Houndoom in front of the door. Ninetales joins Umbreon on the bed after a nightmare startles him awake. Surrounded by four of his favorite pokemon - ones who have come to be his source of comfort and stability when he needs it most - he is able to fall back asleep with ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when he dreams again, he doesn’t bolt awake after revisiting the original Viridian City Gym. Instead, his brain works through the initial encounter, taking in all of the details and acknowledging that it was all because of people exercising powers they had no business having, that it was in no way his fault. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s as though a page has been turned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For so very long, the thought of this place has filled him with dread, but now… Now it’s a beautiful gym - a perfect place to work with pokemon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe this doesn’t erase or undo all of the hardships. It doesn’t make them all worthwhile. But having gone through it all has ultimately led to this. He’s learned and experienced so much that he can’t imagine his life any differently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, if he’s completely honest with himself, he wouldn’t change his past, even if he could. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've always really liked the idea of Gary continuing to work with pokemon as a researcher and I've always headcannoned him as continuing to train on the side. I thought it would be interesting to explore how he might approach pokemon that have been abused or neglected after dealing with Mewtwo and figuring out that the pokemon who attacked him was mistreated. I also never mentioned Mewtwo by name in here because Gary doesn't know the name of the pokemon that attacked him. All he really knows is that the pokemon was lab created, experimented on and abused, and that it's supposedly a clone of Mew. </p><p>I've also always been intrigued by the gym leader!Gary trope but for all the pics I've seen with it, I've never seen one even mention anything from Battle of the Badge. I also wanted to tie in a little bit of why the Cerulean Gym looks so different when Ash battles Misty in the Alola episodes. </p><p>I wanted to add more but also wanted to leave it all really open-ended, kinda like Gary's future is now free and open to him with him having faced the things that caused him so much fear and anxiety for so long. </p><p>One thing that didn't make it into this is Gary's first battle in the gym... which is, of course, against Ash. It's not an official gym battle, it's a sort of grand opening of the new gym and a way for the League to show off their new gym leader. I want to write a fic just of that, especially to show Ash's reaction but I'm also working on something with lots of battling in it, so I'd rather not write something that's mostly one big battle. </p><p>Also, for Feraligatr, I used a lot of real-life crocodilian behaviors and actual animal training techniques as inspiration. I do wildlife photography in Florida (lots of alligators!) and study crocodilians, and my sister has dolphin training experience so I really tried to bring a sense of realism to a crocodilian-based pokemon. I also looked a lot at realistic art of feraligatr for inspiration... It also doesn't hurt that the background on my laptop is a picture I took in the underwater portion of the saltwater crocodile exhibit at the St. Augustine Alligator Farm (which also was some of the inspiration for her final enclosure at the Viridian Gym).</p><p>And one last note... in case you're wondering about the inconsistency in my capitalization of pokemon names (and the word pokemon). I only capitalize their names when they are being used as proper nouns (actual  personal names, rather than referring to what species they are). </p><p>Thanks for sticking around through the end! I hope it was enjoyable or at least intriguing. Let me know what you think! I would love to hear more about other people's thoughts on Gary's experience with Mewtwo and how it might have impacted him growing up.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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